Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in the Age of Instant Gratification
- Miriam Mukasa - Inclusive Leadership & AI
- Jun 23
- 2 min read
Living in a world of 24-hour news cycles, Amazon same day deliveries, taxis, food and even romantic dates on tap, it seems we’ve become accustomed to instant gratification. Many of our needs and wants are now met at the click of a button. Unsurprisingly, we begin to transfer this digital, on demand way of life into real life, shaping how we interact, engage and communicate with one another.
Whether at work or home, many of us now seem to seek or expect instant, often positive, reactions to our needs and wants. When this does not materialise, we are frequently left feeling angry or hurt, or heading straight to a social media platform to lodge a complaint, in the belief that the world needs to hear how we have been hard done by.
The problem is that such emotional reactions, often before all the facts are known or established, offer us a form of instant gratification in the shape of emotional release or even revenge. This is a clear example of reacting emotionally rather than responding with Emotional Intelligence (EQ).
The question is, is this really how we wish to live our lives? Is there not something to be said about building both our emotional and physical muscles through delayed gratification?
Instant gratification works much like fast food. It may give you an immediate boost and a fleeting sense of satisfaction, but in the long run it damages the mind, the body, or the soul.
Let me be clear. I am not suggesting that there are never situations that require instant reactions. Nor am I discussing threatening or aggressive situations that require our brain’s amygdala driven ‘fight-or-flight’ response.
What I am referring to are the day-to-day interactions we experience, or observe, whether in person or remotely. These range from road rage, anger following rejection, frustration when we believe a shop assistant is ignoring us, or irritation because the cashier is too slow while we’re parked on double yellow lines. Is it really worth losing our temper over such situations?
Unnecessary emotional reactions occur when the amygdala part of the brain takes over, when in fact, a brief pause would allow the prefrontal cortex (the logical part of the brain), the space to regulate and calm that response. This pause gives us the ability to reason and, in some cases, to take responsibility for the situations we find ourselves in that give rise to our anger.
Whether at work or at play, EQ is a critical capability. It requires mental as well as emotional discipline. It is about resisting the urge for quick reactions. It’s about pausing, reflecting, naming our emotion(s) and taking responsibility before responding, or forming an opinion about something or someone.
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